Life of Ms Quirky

2011-08-24T09:24:00.000-07:00

I may be the worst blogger ever. Seeing as this is my first post since March.... I feel the need to get back into writing though. Sometimes, it helps through the crazy. There has been so much going on lately, that crazy has a high potential.

Finally got some medical stuff figured out and on medication. Medication is suppose to balance out the hormones and make me feel better, emotionally. Other meds are suppose to make my body process what I eat so I can lose some weight, and get healthy, and feel better physically (and feel better about myself). So far, it's hit and miss. Most days, being the miss.

Doctor said it could take few weeks, so I'm trying to be patient. It's difficult though. The majority of my day is spent feeling not quite right. I feel sick if I don't eat. And after I eat, I usually feel sick from whatever I've eaten... I know it's all about adjusting to the meds and finding balance. So, I'm hanging in there with it. If I can get past the rocky start, I know I will be much happier.

And the mood is a struggle as well. I hit a really bad place last week. Doctor told me to go off my anit-depressants because they could be a bad mix with everything else I'm taking now. So, I did. Good news is I no longer lay in bed thinking of ways to die. And, that's a huge bit of good news. But, I still don't feel completely out of my mope cloud. It comes and goes. And sometimes it changes quickly through out the day. I still have this fog of sadness that I can't get out of my mind and heart. I feel like I have control over it in the sense that I'm not going to completely lose my shit and do something stupid. But, it makes me tired. It makes me even more look forward to getting used to my new meds and in a good routine that works for me.

I have every reason in the world to be so happy. So many great things are going on in my world... plans to go back to school, maybe getting my own place soon, teaching a ton of scuba classes and making new friends through it, awesome family, the most amazing best friend anyone could have... I can't wait until I'm able to sit back and think of all those things and feel that happiness so deep in my core; and not have it all clouded by irrational mood swings and depression.

So, I guess that's where I'm at these days. I'm hoping to update this more regularly. It's a good way to "talk" about all that's circling around in my head.

2011-03-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

I really don't want to get my hopes up, but I'm feeling pretty good today. Only mild headache so far today. This is the most "non-shitty" (physically and emotionally) I've felt in what seems like forever. Tomorrow marks 1 full week that I have been on the meds, and I'm thinking they are starting to work a little. Don't feel quite 100% yet, but I feel a glimmer of hope. And, that in and of itself, is a huge weight lifted.

Lots to look forward to this weekend as well. Diving on both Saturday and Sunday. And, I get to spend a lot of time with my best friend. Really looking forward to it. I think the combination of (1) keeping things on the calendar to look forward to, (2) the meds, (3) the support/encouragement I get from people who care, and (4) making the conscious decision to portray a good mood and get rid of this depression is all finally starting to work together. I'm so relieved that I am starting to see a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.

2011-03-22T11:35:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I've written anything. Guess it's time for an update...

Finally got off my lazy butt and went to the Dr about the depression I've been feeling since, oh about Dec-Jan. I'm on my 5th day of taking an anti-depressant. Starting to feel some of the side effects they told me were likely until my body adjusted. So, at least I know the meds are going into my system. No real improvement on the mood yet though. I was told it could be about 2 weeks before I started seeing difference there. It's frustrating. I still feel pretty down. And now I feel dizzy/nauseous/panicky on top of it. Excellent. Just gotta hang in there. I know once the meds start doing their job, I'll feel a lot better. It's just hard. And I'm tired of complaining about it. I feel myself pulling away from people. I just want to be left alone until I get this all sorted out. I'm sure it's all in my head and not nearly as noticeable as I feel like it is. But, I'm really self conscious about how "non-present" I feel when I'm around people. I feel zoned out and spacey. And I feel like my bad mood will be taken the wrong way or personally. And it's exhausting to socialize.

I went to an information session for Cal Baptist's grad and credential program. I got a lot of good info, and turned in an application. Although it was a struggle to motivate myself to go, I was glad I went because I really want to keep moving forward with my plan to go back to school. And, as whacked out as this sounds... I feel like it is important for me to keep goals and things I want to do on my calendar. With working through this depression, I feel like it's important for me to keep having reasons to push through. Goals to meet. Things to experience. And then, when I do finally kick my bad mood's ass, I won't feel like I got behind because of it. Just gotta keep truckin' along.

Social Exchange Theory

2011-02-22T09:36:00.000-08:00

Seriously, the "Social Exchange Theory" may be my favorite thing I learned as a pysch major. So relevant and applicable to daily life.

You can google it, and it comes up with all kinds of info. But, one website describes it perfectly. I got this from http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/social_exchange.htm:

All relationships have give and take, although the balance of this exchange is not always equal. Social Exchange theory explains how we feel about a relationship with another person as depending on our perceptions of:

The balance between what we put into the relationship and what we get out of it.
The kind of relationship we deserve.
The chances of having a better relationship with someone else.

I broke up with Batman today. Been thinking long and hard about the relationship I was having with him. And, there were no real benefits to me. And honestly, I couldn't see any lasting benefit to him either. Other than a hook up now and then. And, I'm learning more about what I deserve. I think I deserve something with a little more substance than that. I gave us a chance to add some substance and that clearly wasn't a priority on both sides. So, time to move on. It was not as easy of a decision as I thought. But, I feel like it was right and the best decision for me. I need to get better about realizing and doing what's good for me. This was a good step towards that.

2011-02-18T10:48:00.000-08:00

"I love to be alone. I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude."
-Henry David Thoreau

I took photo classes in high school and we had to do a project based off of a favorite quote. I used this one. I did a bunch of shots of a friend of mine in these wide open spaces (long empty beaches, meadows, parks...). In all the shots, he was by himself and would either be reading, resting, meditating, or walking. I focused on how good it is to take time for yourself. I spent a lot of time on my own in high school and, looking back, I'm so glad I did. Being able to spend time alone and enjoy your own company is important. I forgot how good that feels.

This past week, I have really focused on being okay with myself. I have purposely spent time on my own as often as I can. Whether that has been doing a solo dive, taking a walk/jog, a drive, or just hanging out at home. I feel centered in my soul right now. It feels good. I think I may be becoming addicted to it, actually. I look forward to the end of my day when I can go home and just spend some quiet time. My life tends to be pretty busy between work and teaching and various social things I enjoy doing. So, having time to myself every night this week has been amazing. I haven't even been feeling any shred of lonely and I wondered if it would hit me at some point. I've noticed that when I am out doing things with people, I stay more engaged and enjoy it more. It's like I really take advantage of the social time and then really take advantage of that alone time later. I think I'm in a good balance with myself right now and I'm planning to keep this up. I'm happier, more rested, and not so edgy and sensitive to things. I feel like I have control over my social life and I'm not letting it happen to me and just hanging on for the ride. It's a good feeling.

Another good quote on solitude that I've found this week is, "I restore myself when I'm alone." -Marilyn Monroe. I'm finding this to be so so so true. I feel restored, rejuvenated, and focused. All good things :-)

New Direction

2011-02-11T09:47:00.000-08:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my long term direction. I really enjoy my job. It's fun, and I like being involved with scuba everyday. But, I don't make nearly as much as I think the job should pay. And, there is no real room for growth here. This would be a great job if my life had a shared income, or if I was a bit younger and not as much else going on. The reality is I'm almost 26. I don't make enough to pay for my monthly living expenses. And, I live with a roomie (who I love, but still...).

I am finding myself in a place where I am craving independence and stability. I would really like to feel like I can pay my bills every month. I don't have a whole lot of them... No credit cards and no car payment. So, it shouldn't be this difficult to take care of my expenses. Also, I would really love to have my very own place. I love living with my brother. He's fun and we get along great and I value the time I get to spend with him and the talks I have with him. But, it's just time to fly from my little nest. I would like to have my own place and that sense of independence. I would like to feel like I can bring people over and not have to wonder about the status of my roomie. Who knows. If I end up in a consistent relationship with the possibility of more frequent sleepovers, it would be nice to not have the awkward "big bro in the next room" feeling. I'm ready to be on my own and taking care of myself.

So, here's what I'm doing about it! It's time to focus on getting into an actual "career." I've thought about teaching over and over again and I keep going back to it. It's become quite clear to me that that is a good path for me. So, I'm registering to take the CBEST and CSET in the next few months. As soon as I get those done, I'll apply to some schools and get into a program that offers a Masters program along with Credentials. About a year and a half after that, school will be done and I can get into an actual career and feel like I've really "grown up." I'm so looking forward to that. I know the getting out on my own won't happen over night. I may have to keep the roommate thing up during school or go live on campus. And, that's okay. The point is... I feel like I'm setting goals for myself and working to achieve them and better myself and my life. I'm really excited about it. So, here is the list of new goals:

Take/Pass CBEST and CSET before end of Spring
Enroll in school before end of year.
Finish school by the time I'm 28
Have my *own* place, and feel some stability by the time I'm 30

Good Week

2011-02-09T14:31:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I knew all I needed to pull me out of my mope funk was some busyness back in my life. This week has been pretty good so far. I have a lot going on that's making me smile.

Monday I got to hang with Batman and his new place. I like it there. It's cozy and he's becoming more and more easy to be around. We've gotten to the point where we aren't just talking to get to know each other's background. We talk about our everyday things and do the mindless chit-chat. I like that. That's when I feel like someone has gone beyond the "acquaintance" stage and they are an actually "friend" that you can be yourself around. It's a good feeling.

Tuesday was Heather's rehearsal dinner. The wedding is this Saturday, and as odd as it is to admit... I'm actually really looking forward to it. I hung with Heather's best friend, Jill, at the rehearsal. Me and her are like long lost soul mates or something. We had such a good time and were so silly. I cannot remember the last time I laughed that hard for that long. I'm thinking I need to befriend her and hang out more often. People like that are extra good to have in my life. I have a need to laugh often.

Wednesday (tonight) is the much anticipated "Mexican Wrestling" night. I've been looking forward to this for about a month. And now, I'm even more looking forward to it just for the time to spend with Besty. Hung out with Besty over the weekend, but it seems like it's been much longer than that. Missing him lately. Even though we text all day and I got a few minutes to say hi last night, I feel like we are lacking the connection that comes after a quality talk or hang out time. I'm expecting some heavy traffic on the way into LA, and actually looking forward to that. It'll give us a chance to chat and catch up and reconnect a bit before all the fun starts. He's the best friend I could ever imagine having in my life so keeping a tight connection with him is big to me. He's awesome, and I love him. Hanging with him tonight will definitely be one of the highlights this week.

Thursday will be nice because I get to be pampered a bit. Mani-Pedi and eyebrow waxing. It's about time. I love when my nails are done. It makes me feel sassy. And the eyebrows... yeah, lets just say I'm way overdue there. After that, I get to go hang out with Besty's DM class in the pool. I love hanging around that class. I feel like I should be paying a tuition fee as well. I'm learning a lot just just watching that class go on. I love it.

Friday... well, Friday will need to have it's own "blog entry" I think. Lol. Let's just say I'll be stepping outside the box a bit. Also, that night starts my advanced class. I actually have enough students signed up to call it a real class. That makes me feel so good. And, its students that I know and that I really enjoy teaching. We are going to have a lot of fun and I get to hang out with some of my new favorite people.

Weekend... Heather's wedding and more hang out time with Besty. Can't ask for anything more there. Really excited to get all fancy on Saturday. I don't get to get dressed up very often so I'm really looking forward to it. And, I'm very excited for Heather. I have never seen her so happy as she is with Kevin. Heather is one of the best people I know so it's so good to see her basking all the happy that she deserves.

So, that's the week. Lot's of things going on that are good. This blog is kinda long. But, it feels good to put all the things that are making me happy into actual words. It lets me enjoy them all that much more. Hoping these good feelings keep up. :-)

2011-02-04T17:01:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure what has been up with me. But, I've really been battling lonely feelings lately. I've done a pretty good job at finding things to do this week and surrounding myself with good people. I've even managed to see the besty every day this week for one reason or another. But I still feel lonely lurking in me. I hate that. It's making me feel clingy and needy. And, I have no reason for it. Things are good in my world and I have every reason to be happy. And, I'd even say that as a whole, I am happy. There is no major stress getting me down or anything to be upset over. I'm just having a hard time connecting with anyone in a way that makes the lonely disappear. Maybe a good weekend of some rest and relaxation will help.

Quick- Schedule Something!

2011-02-02T09:48:00.000-08:00

I'm the kind of girl that tends to stay pretty busy. My brother, who is also my roommate, laughs because we will go days without even seeing each other and we live in a little 2-bedroom place. He says it's nice only paying 1/2 the rent but pretty much getting his own place... I like having a busy schedule. It keeps the time passing and gives me little things throughout the week to look forward to.

My open water class finished up last weekend. For the first time in quite awhile, I have absolutely nothing scheduled for this week. Nothing for work, teaching, or social. It's so weird. It's only Wednesday, and already this week has seemed to be dragging on. Another reason I like to get out there and keep things scheduled is I'm learning that I do like the company of others a lot more than I used to. I used to keep myself pretty isolated. I definitely liked my "me time." But, I'm learning that I need the "me time" less than I did even a few months ago. In fact, I'm finding it easier and easier for me to feel lonely. I like having things to do and people to talk to.

I'm really looking forward to next week... Heather's rehearsal dinner on Tuesday. Mexican Wrestling in LA with my besty on Wednesday. Orientation for my advanced class on Friday. And Heather's wedding on Saturday (and I have the hottest date ever to that!). Lot's of fun things planned and fun people to spend time with. And that, I am looking forward to.

OW Class

2011-01-31T15:05:00.000-08:00

I went diving on Saturday with my open water class. I certified my three students and and got to spend a day out on the water. The weather was great and the dive conditions were really good too. Good dive conditions = easy day of teaching. One of the big highlights of the day though, was my class. These 3 students have been a big bright spot in my life. They are all very different and have their quirks, but I think that's why I like them. They know their quirks, and they don't care about them. It was an easy class to be around because there was a general acceptance of each other. Combine that with some raunchy humor and a love for scuba diving... you get a TON of fun.

Becoming an instructor has been one of those life long dreams. I was always a little fish growing up and I would love to go to the beach when I was a kid and watch the divers get in and out of the water. I was that annoying toddler that followed them around and asked a million questions. So, of course I was beyond excited when I finished up my instructor course back in April. Since then, I had difficult student after difficult student. I had a few good ones in there, but there was a lot of tough classes and grumpy students to deal with. It was discouraging. I had looked forward to teaching for so long and I was quickly finding out that it is not all sunshine and rainbows. This class made up for all the hard ones I've had over the past 8 months. They brought so much enthusiasm and desire to get out there and start diving. They not only reminded me why I wanted to teach scuba, but also reminded me why I love diving in the first place. This is one of those classes where I think the instructor learned just as much as the students did.

This class is planning on rolling right into my advanced class that starts in a couple of weeks. I am SO thrilled to get to teach them some more and dive with them again. I've made some special friendships here that I know I'll keep with me forever. It's a great feeling. :-)

My Little Epiphany

2011-01-27T10:35:00.000-08:00

In college, I took a long break from dating. I had decided that I needed to work on myself and get to a place where I was content with me and my life before I tried to add anyone on to it. I think I was on to something there...

Lately, I have felt a pretty large void in my life. So, I have been putting in a lot of effort trying to fill that void with new people and relationships. It's hard to admit, but I would say I was close to the point of desperation. I would do anything for some attention and someone new to talk to or fill some time with. I have been pushing myself way out of my comfort zone, in a bad way. Sometimes, I know it's good to push yourself. But I haven't been doing it in a way that has been good or healthy or constructive. I gave out my number to someone I had no interest in... and he still won't stop texting. And, if that wasn't enough, I started to talking to someone that seemed nice enough, but just gave off that "there is something wrong here" vibe. I intentionally ignored the vibe and concentrated so hard on the little random things I liked, I had convinced myself the vibe was nothing. I met him last night. It went horrible. We are so different in very important ways. I realized that starting a relationship with him would be a horrible thing. At least I recognized this early and attempted to end the date. While saying goodbye, he tried to pull me into his car. I got away from him with no problem and had the rest of the night to myself. If I think about the "what ifs" (what if he had a gun or knife, or what if I let him put me in that car...), I freak myself out. So, I'm not thinking of those and focusing on what did happen and the fact that I listened to my instincts enough to save myself. But I have come to a point where I really need to step back.

My life is busy. It is not overwhelming, but I have a good job, fun classes to teach, great family, an awesome best friend, and another nice guy that is becoming part of a weekly hang out routine and it seems that he may become more than "weekly." So, why the hell do I need to add more people to the mix?! Rather then fill my emptiness with more people who I may or may not actually want around... I should concentrate on what I do have in my life. If I spent 1/2 as much energy focusing on the things that are already present in my life and bring me joy, I bet that would fill a lot of that void. So, that's the little "ah-ha!" moment I had last night and I'm going to apply it and see how it goes. Focusing on all the little good things I do have, has already put me in a pretty happy mood today. I have a lot to smile about if I would just let myself enjoy those little smiles once in awhile. I can't fix what isn't already broken. And, my life is far from broken. It's time to appreciate that.

Update

2011-01-24T10:22:00.000-08:00

Oh my, I have not written in quite awhile... time for an update:

I survived the holidays and the new year is off to it's usual start. I have classes scheduled for the next few months. Open water going on now. Advanced starting in February. And, Rescue in March. My current open water class is bringing me a lot of joy. Only 3 students. But, they are a lot of fun and they really like me, which makes me feel super good. I feel like the kind of instructor I've been wanting to be around them. All 3 of them are planning on taking my advanced class next month, along with another open water student from before the holidays. I feel like I'm starting to get a little fan club. It feels really good. This class makes me feel like I am to them what my mentor/instructor was/still is to me. It's an amazing feeling.

Speaking of that mentor/instructor... he's amazing. He helped me with my class this weekend along with his DM students. And, wow. I am continuously learning from him. He always has something relevant and helpful to say and students seem to instantly love them. I got texts from 2 of my students at the end of the day asking if he was going to be going along for sure next weekend because they liked him so well. Yep! Reasons he's the role model for the kind of instructor I want to be...

Other new stuff... started dating someone new. We shall call him "Batman." It was off to a rocky start, but that's because I'm a paranoid crazy girl who needs to chill the eff out. I always worry about meeting people off the Internet.. What if they are crazy?! Upon further thought... I'm wondering if I'm the crazy one.. But I'm learning a lot about taking things one day at a time and not reading into things so much. Not just with batman, but in all areas of my life and other relationships. Sometimes I get so far into my head, that I set up a perfect storm that didn't need to happen and wouldn't have if I had just stayed mellow. I should invent some sort of shock collar to train myself. But yes. Batman = good thing. He's funny, cute, nice. All around good to spend time with.

I guess that's what's new in a nut shell.

2010-12-27T14:18:00.000-08:00

I've had some extra time to reflect today and have been coming to some conclusions. I am in an incredible relationship with probably the best guy out there. He gets me on a level that no else does and he makes me feel great. Any criticism he gives, is a always constructive and he pushes me to always do my best and be the best person that I can be. He sees a lot of good in me.

All of that is great, and I know I am so lucky to have that in my life. One thing that I need that still seems to be lacking though... I need to be able to see that for myself as well. I've found myself in quite a bit of a rut lately with some low self confidence. And, rather then sit back and complain about it, it's time I do something. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people complain about something that they have the power to change themselves. And, I'm starting to find myself slip into that bad habit. Also, I have found that when I let myself mope into some low self esteem, it has an effect on so much in my life. Including my relationship with Mr. Wonderful. Well, no more of that! I'm taking back control of my life and the way I want to handle the things that get me down. I've started working on this a little this past week and have already felt a positive change in some aspects of my life. I'm excited to apply this elsewhere now. I look forward to being able to look in the mirror and really be happy with who I see there.

2010-12-17T11:11:00.000-08:00

They say sometimes the right thing to do is often the hardest thing to do. Well, I don't know if that is true. And what if every option seems difficult? I've been doing a lot of "soul searching" this week. I feel like I've lost direction and need to regain that. But, I have no idea what direction I need to get back on track with. I feel like I'm back in my Underwater Navigation Course and I got stuck with the broken compass that keeps me about 15 degrees off from where I need to be. It's not a huge error, but just enough to keep me frustrated and questioning if I'm doing it right. I know I am only 25, and so having it all figured out is definitely not a requirement. But, I'm such a planner. I like to be able to look ahead a few years and at least have an idea of who I will be, where I will be, what I'll be doing, who will be around with me. And, a lot of that seems very foggy. It's really starting to weigh me down.

Maybe I just need to put it aside. Get through the holidays and the next few weeks and then focus on it again. Perhaps my holiday mope is getting in the way. Every year I get older, it seems like Christmas and New Years are losing more and more holiday "magic." Maybe this upcoming year will bring me some of that clarity and this time next year, I can be wrapped up in holiday magic and not so stressy. Heh, I think it all comes down to me chilling the eff out and learning to enjoy where I'm at.

My, this was not the chipper blog I have been doing so far. I hope I don't drive anyone to drink or to sharp objects. I'm not meaning to come off depressed. Overall, I'm not depressed. Just taking a step back and looking at my life.

2010-12-06T10:40:00.000-08:00

I have never been an overly confident type of girl. I like to blend in and fade into the background. Throughout my life, I have had a hard time really feeling like I really belonged anywhere. Or, that there was anything special our interesting about me that I could really offer anyone else. And, because I didn't feel like there was anything special about me, I never really felt like I "deserved" to feel like I stood out to anyone.

But, eveyone wants to feel like they matter. Lately, I have really come to realize how important that is. I didn't think it mattered to me. But, it does. And, I think the older I get, the more it matters. I want to feel like I have an impact on someone. Life is short when you look at the big picture. And, for my short time here, I am learning that I hope I have stood out to somone and made a difference.

And, that is why I am so thankful for my best friend. I finally feel like I fit in somewhere. I have found security within myself from being around him. For the first time in my life, I really feel like I am special and important and that I matter. And, having that foundation of good is helping me in so many other areas of my life. It is amazing what just a little bit of security and self confidence can do. Knowing someone is there through thick and thin and will love me unconditionally helps me take chances. I'll go out on limbs and take risks that I would never consider doing just a year ago. But, knowing at the end of the day, whether I made a great decision or a huge mistake, I'm still okay. I'm still loved. I'm still special. And, I'm still important.

So far, I think my favorite "life lesson" I've learned, is the lesson of how important it is to let yourself be loved.

Bridal Showers

2010-12-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

Busy weekend ahead.

Saturday is my cousin's bridal shower. My mom and I are throwing it for her and there will be about 50 women there. Shower's are such a silly tradition. We will eat and visit with family we don't see often, and meet the soon-to-be inlaws of Heather's. Seems normal so far... but then, there's the games...

The first game is about the crap we have in our purse. Random list of things one might find in a lady's purse. The lady that has the most items from the list, wins. Well, shit. I guess I better go buy a purse... Would a small dive gear bag count? Maybe a back pack? I don't think I will have the right items on the list though. This in not a good game for the Tom-Boys.

The second game is even more rediculous, if you can believe that. There are about 50 baloons that we (and by "we", I mean "I") will have to blow up. Inside each baloon will be a picture of some famous couple. But, in 4 baloons, there will be a picture of... wait for it... Kevin and Heather! The 4 ladies that pop the baloon with the picure of Kevin and Heather win. Mindless, silly games. But, everyone loves these. I admit, at my shower, we did the same sort of thing and I loved it. What is with our culture? How does dumping crap out of your purse and popping baloons have anything to do with married life? Other then excess baggage and popping of hopes and dreams.... Hmm, maybe that's not the message they are going for. I better put a lid on the bitter. I am looking forward to the shower though. My cousin is beyond happy and that makes me happy for her. She is one of the coolest, nicest, selfless people I know and she deserves all the bliss she has now. So, yay for her! I just hope the bliss lasts forever. I had bliss at one point... Oh, shit. There goes the bitter again. I really need to get that under control before Saturday...

Did I mention I will be doing the cooking for this little event? Oh yes. I will be rattlin' them pots and pans in the kitchen. Bringing out the domestic side. Stay tuned for that little adventure...

Technology

2010-12-01T14:59:00.001-08:00

Oh my goodness... Technology these days. Yes, I am posting this blog by texting from my phone. Is it odd that technology overwhelms me? I can't fathom a world without texting and emailing- and it still amazes me. Ha! I can't imagine how the older generations feel. They've seen a time when there was no Internet. Or when the Internet was sucky and slow. Now look at us! It kind of freaks me out if I try to think what it will be like when I get older. I don't know what else can be invented. But, I'm sure someone will think of something!

The First Blog...

2010-12-01T12:06:00.000-08:00

Well here goes my attempt at blogging...

I'm looking forward to starting up this blog. I'm in the midst of figuring out life (aren't we all?) and this blog will be a way to throw all my jumbled thoughts on paper and sort them out. What I end up putting on here could be funny, sad, frustrating, steamy, bold, easy to read, or uncomfortable. You name it, it will probably end up here... But, either way, it will be good to get it out. It will be fun to write, and hopfully entertaining to read.

A little bit about me: I'm in my mid 20's. I want to say I'm outgoing. But, the truth is I come off a little quiet and withdrawn until I find my comfort zone. Then, the "outgoing" comes out. I have a degree which I am not using for a career and not sure if I ever will. I teach scuba diving, as well as indulge in it as my regular hobby. I have quite a wide range of friends. I defintely do not fit into any certain "type" of social group- which has its perks and down falls. And, right now it is the middle of the week, I am at work, and looking for things to do. So, why not start a blog!

Guess that's all for now.